The Scavenger Hunt

Life is like a really long and really weird scavenger hunt. You look for things like happiness, security, beauty. We collect memories and tears, and signs for streets with funny names. We all go through life looking for a soul-mate when things would be so much easier if like was more like a menu than a scavenger hunt. Your four cheese ravioli for me and a mate for my soul, please. How can we trust another person with everything that we are? In my experience, the people that I let in only ever hurt me. When you love someone you say you would never do anything to intentionally hurt them yet sometimes you find yourself doing things you know would hurt them and you don’t even think twice about it. Surprisingly, I actually don’t find myself doing this but I’m finding it being done to me. It takes every inch of my being to not do things that have always come natural to me. But when I’m sitting at the bar watching him take a shot from between another girls legs because I have to much dignity to allow him to do it to me, I wonder exactly what it is that is keeping me with him. You can only hear someone apologize so many times before you start to wonder why they keep doing things that require an apology.  My commitment issues are so legendary that even my mother made jokes about an apocalypse whenever I got into my latest relationship. How much longer do I need to be “commitment Kelsey” asking myself why “Mr. Faithful Boyfriend” is constantly texting other girls and then deleting his conversations and sticking his head between someone else’s legs in public?

If life was a menu, and I ordered a soul-mate, would that person expect me to act like stripper white trash?

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